Even though I am currently reliving my youth through my blogging adventures, in reality I’m really a mummy. A mummy to a no-eating, stubborn, back chatting little monster who is showing signs of being the ultimate diva.
Ok…so she’s not a monster all the time. But she sure as hell makes me feel like one when I have to turn into the demon mother. Sometime I wonder why we can’t just birth adults who will simply leave home as soon as they’re born. I know its harsh to say, but let’s face it, this parenting thing is tough…and it gets tougher as the years progress. You sit on the toilet pondering life and then it hits you that for the next 18 to 20 years of your life you are entirely responsible for the person you deliberately birthed. Phew! That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Especially when they reach 5 years old and you realise that you still have another 13 years…which means you didn’t even make a dent by bringing them this far.
Each child is different. Some are short, some are tall. Some are skinny, some are chubby, some run fast, some like to play dolls, some dance and some are cry babies. But one thing makes them all the same…they love to eat! Well…not all…my daughter put the ‘picky’ in picky eater. Actually no…a picky eater eats more than my child. My child just downright doesn’t eat. If it doesn’t look the way she thinks it should, if it doesn’t taste the way she remembers it and if she so much as smells something which is out of place, then she refuses to even look at it. My child’s 5 senses are sharp as a tack and there is no tricking her with hiding medicine in juice or blending vegetables to disguise them as tomato ketchup. Oh no… my child with her super human nostrils can smell a rat a mile off and she won’t be duped or coerced into allowing anything past her lips to “just taste it”.
As a child (and as an adult) I loved food! I would eat anything and everything…except mushrooms and onions (despise that stuff…its horrible). I enjoyed spicy food from a young age – Indian cuisine being my favourite. My daughter refuses to even try the mildest dish on the menu – I question if she’s really mine at this point.
I offer her fish fingers, chicken nuggets, pizza, fries, KFC. I offer her Chinese noodles, rice. I offer her pasta dishes, meats, seafood. I even go as far as offering her cake and ice cream. Most kids go crazy for that. Not mine. She is very particular about the type of cake she has and the ice cream better be the right flavour of chocolate…if not then I might as well throw it out because she will not be eating it.
Other parents have offered advice, and many say she gets too many choices,I should let her starve. “She won’t starve herself because she must eat”. I’m here to tell you that my kid is a super human being born from another planet…I have tried everything from ignoring to coercing, from forcing to bribing. Nothing works! If she doesn’t want to eat, then she will spend days not eating. But get this…she doesn’t lose weight, she’s as healthy as they come and the doc says she’s perfectly normal. Normal?? Normal by which textbook, because last I checked, kids at age 5 actually like to eat…especially sweet things.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my little monster. I wouldn’t exchange her for the world. There are those moments when I get a little worried, and I wonder if she’s really from this planet.