How one relationship could change the course of the future

memoriesBeing a bar supervisor  and working with a great bunch of people who were my friends, more than my staff – was indeed a  dream come true…a dream that would have to come to an end.

1 year I worked there. After the first 2 months, I had earned enough money to finally move out of my dad’s house, and get a place within walking distance to work. I pulled a second shift at the nightclub being the assistant manager every weekend, so I had extra income coming in. My life now had become a whirlwind of people, drinks, drinking and generally having a fabulous time pretending I was grown up… I guess.

During my time at the tapas bar I dated 2 guys – they were both friends – actually, they were friends with my boss…which is how I ended up hanging out with them. But the first guy I dated was actually one of my boss’s best friends. He was always hanging around, and coming out with really corny jokes – to this very day he is still cracking those corny jokes and I’m sure he’s still hanging around whichever bar is flavor of the month these days. Anyway, he was the joker of the group and he was constantly flirting with me – I guess you could say his presence (not his jokes) wore me down eventually when I decided it wouldn’t be that bad to date my boss’s friend – I was wrong actually…it wasn’t that great!

Don’t get me wrong, my boss and I got on great. He warned me that I shouldn’t get involved with his friend because he was a genuine ass, but I chose to ignore it because I was an adult and I could make my own choices – especially when it involved dating. I guess I never really expected to be blindsided when he dumped me after a month telling me the girl he really liked was coming back from working on the cruise ship. WHOA! Talk about a direct punch in the gut! Who would have thought that while I was planning our future secretly in my head, he was secretly counting down the days until another girl was hopefully his future. I guess you would tell me I was warned – and warned more than once might I add. But it didn’t matter, I was still quite devastated – I called my mum and had a good cry about it actually. I think it was the first time that I had ever cried over a guy…not because I loved him, but because my ego had been well and truly crushed and embarrassed. I will tell you this though – after that girl he liked came back and she basically told him she wasn’t interested, he came running back to me with his tail between his legs. I took him back – not because I was thrilled and relieved – but because I had my own agenda. We were back together for 1 week when I turned the tables – I dumped him! And boy did it feel great! I guess you could say I had orchestrated a karmic circle, but I would prefer to say that I was simply helping the Universe by giving a rather zealous push in the right direction.

After that fiasco of a relationship, I started dating another one of the boss’s friends. Yes, yes, you are right. Why would I go there again after the last time? But this time I wasn’t expecting anything, I didn’t intend for anything to happen and I certainly didn’t think that we would have ended up dating. But I guess the Universe had other plans – because believe it or not, he was the reason for my sudden urge to escape; to escape from the small town, to escape from the routine, to escape from a life that I saw as dead end. The walls of Smallsville felt like it was closing in on me, and I was beginning to feel like I was drowning in quicksand. This final relationship was the fire I needed to get me out – out of my comfort zone and out of the country.

You are all wondering what on earth could have happened for me to want to run away so badly. Believe me when I say that at the end of the day, it wasn’t him – it was me – cliché as it sounded. We met while I was rehearsing as a backup dancer for a Britney Spears look alike. Her dancers had quit suddenly  – (I wonder why) –  and my friend and I decided it would be a laugh to rehearse and do at least one show. Needless to say the show did not happen and neither did another rehearsal.  Anyway, during that one and only rehearsal, we needed someone to critique how we looked, so the only person we could find in the bar next door was him. He certainly didn’t mince his words that day and he certainly wasn’t in a pleasant mood – he was quick to tell us we were a pile of hot steaming sh*t, and we shouldn’t embarrass ourselves if we knew what was good for us. Let me just say this – thanks to his rude, yet honest answer, I decided then and there that he was a totally arrogant ass*@le and if he ever came in my bar  I would refuse to serve him. Yet again, my ego had been deflated – even though deep down I knew what we were doing really was embarrassingly rubbish. But who cares – how dare he!

That fateful day was the start of a very interesting friendship that was filled with romance, fighting, arguments, drunken shenanigans and a rather interesting love story. He was the one that introduced me to the idea of moving away to live somewhere exotic – and trust me – anywhere outside of the United Kingdom would be considered exotic. We looked through travel brochures and at real estate magazines. We look at Turkey and Spain. We looked at Greece and even Amsterdam. Funnily enough, we shared the same passion for the sunshine and travel. We also enjoyed being tanned – we would go on the tanning beds so that we were golden brown all year round. Out of all the guys I dated, he and I were far more compatible, even if his father was a racist. It’s hard to imagine that a guy, who loved foreign countries and obsessed with being tanned, could have had such a bigot for a father. What an awful man! My best friend said something at the time, and even though I laughed it off then – I think it took root in my mind and grew leaves of ideas, which in turn fuelled my eventual need to escape.

All in all, we dated for about 10 months, and the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was an argument about snacks! Yes, you heard right. We had a full blown destructive argument about whos’ turn it was to buy the snacks from the supermarket. I know! Every time I tell that story I get horrified, yet concerned looks – as if they expect me to tell them the hidden meaning behind the term ‘snack’ or to divulge some sordid secret which would have been far more noteworthy. Unfortunately, it was quite simple – I had decided that I had outgrown Smallsville. This guy had opened a view to other places ,and I could taste the freedom. It was calling my name on the breeze, it was whispering to me though the leaves and it was beckoning me to be part of the adventure. I wasn’t sure how, I wasn’t sure where, but one thing was certain – I was ready to go anywhere…which didn’t involve snacks!